


no thoughts.. head Green..

by whatisUPgaymers



Category: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Hypnotism, M/M, Pining, if the writing feels off it's bc i'm overcorrecting away from seeming like it is, this is NOT a fetish i swear to god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25373806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatisUPgaymers/pseuds/whatisUPgaymers
Summary: what if i tried to use a bunch of blue sweet voice on you but it accidentally came out green and i felt really awkward and out of my depth about the whole thing but i decided to try and calm you down this way anyhow (and we're both boys (allegedly))
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 64
Kudos: 551





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> lemon demon sweet bod but instead of the actual lyrics it's just repeating "it isn't sexual" the whole time
> 
> i'm not horny i simply like the idea of taking a break from one's brain for a little bit in a safe environment because i'm mentally ill <3 literally begging you to not get it twisted xoxo

Benrey poked his head around the corner. “Yo.”

Gordon quit pacing and whipped his head around. “ _What?_ ”

“Dude, were you just walking around in circles? You lost or somethin’?”

“No, I’m fucking- _stressed!_ ”

He stepped all the way into the room now. “You don’t got anything to stress about, dude.”

Fists clenched, he bit back a scream. “ _Yes,_ I do!”

“What? Bro- bro, what’s wrong?”

“ _You,_ for starters!”

“I didn’t- I didn’t do _anything,_ man, you’re-”

“Don’t-”

“You’re the one who fucking, decided you can walk into everywhere without proper I.D. You see _me_ goin’ in a loop-de-loop over it?”

He pressed his hands against his face before tossing them down. “Why are you _like_ this?”

“Calm down.”

“ _You-_ ” Gordon quickly shut up as a stream of sweet voice flew into his mouth.

Benrey clamped a hand over his own mouth a bit too late when he finally noticed the light was rather, well… _green._ “... Uh…”

While he did seem a bit less tense, it was clearly more to make room for being dazed than anything else. “Whuh… What?”

“Huh?”

“What’d you want me to do, exactly?”

Benrey tried to think back on other times he’d given someone that much green and came up short. “... Could you just snap out of it? Is that- can we do that, please?”

Gordon stepped forward, grabbing onto his shoulders with something unreadable in his eyes. “No, please, I need to do _something_ for you, man, I can’t-”

“Dude, _relax,_ you-” Just like that, he relaxed, leaning most of his body weight (and his body in _general,_ for that matter) against Benrey in an instant. “How- how’re you being such a dick right now, man? I thought green time was not-mean time. Kinda fucked up, that you’re like this.”

He blinked at him, face mere inches away. “Mm?”

That… had _no_ business being as adorable as it was. “ _Uhhh._ ” Prying Gordon’s hands off him, Benrey maneuvered him over to a nearby wall. “Here, just… sit. Chill out for a second.”

Gordon did so without hesitation, basically falling with his back against the wall. “Now what?”

The way he was looking up at him nearly made Benrey’s heart flutter, but it also made him _very_ uneasy. “Now, uh… now _you…_ wait right there for a sec, kay? ‘m gonna be right back.” He poked his head back in one more time before leaving. “And sit a more comfortable way, damn. Gonna make your legs allll… sleepy, like that. Idiot.”

Quieter than a mouse, he walked back to where they were all supposed to be sleeping. Rather than figure out the best way to step around the scientists on the floor, he cupped his hands around his mouth before whispering, “Yo, _Tommyyy._ ”

Coomer, closer to the door than the others, was the one to stir instead. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes. “Hm?”

“Shit, sorry, dude, I just need- gotta borrow Tommy for a sec. Go-”

“Tommy, Benrey needs you for something!” he said _incomprehensibly_ loud, causing everyone else in the room to jump.

Bubby rubbed at his poor, poor ears. “Oh my _god-_ ”

Benrey buried his face in his hands. “Cool, cool, cool, cool-”

Coomer just smiled, pleased as punch. “Not a problem!”

Stretching his arms over his head, Tommy watched as Benrey stepped around the other two in a hurry. “What- what’s happening?”

He offered his hand, Tommy pulling himself up with it without even needing to think about it. “Just- follow me, please.”

Back in that smaller room away from it all, Tommy waved at Gordon, who now had his legs folded towards his chest, as opposed to jammed underneath him at haphazard angles. “Hi, Mr. Freeman!” When all he got back was a few blinks and a faint wiggle, he finally took his other hand out of Benrey’s, if only to plant both of them on his hips. “Is it- is this the green? Like- a _lot_ of green?”

Groaning, Benrey ran his hands down his face. “Bro, I didn’t… I was trying to do the blue. Dude was real wound up.” He shot Gordon a look over his fingertips. “What- what’re you just, not gonna say hi back to him? Huh? Dick?”

“Hi, Tommy.”

“Hi!”

“Hi.”

“Can I- uhm-” Benrey smacked his lips as he thought his words over. “You do a lot more- actively knowing things about the sweet voice. Can I make it wear off faster? Don’t feel great about this. Feel kinda, really _bad,_ honestly.”

Tommy tapped his chin. “Mmm… have you tried telling him to snap out of it? That- that’s usually how it works in the movies.”

“Yeah, he just- he got all weird about it. Dunno why.”

“‘Cause if I don’t do literally everything in my power to do whatever you want right away my mind will _actually_ tear itself apart,” Gordon chimed in from the floor.

“... _Huh?_ ”

“Uhhh… that sounds _really fucked up,_ I think.”

Benrey placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “I don’t… wanna think about it too much right now.” After a moment, he squinted. “Hold up.” He walked a little closer to Gordon. “But- but the thing I want is for you to stop being like this? Why don’t you just, uh- do _that?_ ”

He grabbed Benrey’s leg, still wobbling as he grimaced up at him. “I don’t get to decide how your _funny brain lights_ work, Benrey.”

“Woahp- _okay,_ ” he let out before awkwardly prying Gordon off of him. “Stop- stop doing that, bro. It’s weird. Thought I was supposed to be the one that freaks _you_ out, huh.”

With a huff, he sat back against the wall again. “Okay.”

“Wh- wow, damn, you’re… you’re pretty sassy for a hypnotized person, aren’tcha?”

“... I guess…?”

Tommy scratched the back of his neck. “Uhm… I think you might just have to roll with it ‘til it goes away on its own. That was kind of the only idea I had.”

“... Shit, alright.” He patted Tommy on the shoulder. “You go back to bed, man, I’ll, uh… I can take it from here. Thanks.”

“Are you sure? You seem really uncomfortable about… literally every aspect of- just, this _whole_ situation.”

“Oh, totally, but… y’know. Sleep’s important and shit. For you.”

“Well… okay.” Before he left, he stopped to wave one more time. “Good night, Mr. Freeman!”

Slowly, Benrey turned back around. “Sooo…” He came and sat down right next to Gordon, still jarred by the total lack of protests. (Personal space never seemed to be a huge deal with him, but there was still the whole… _Benrey_ aspect. Supposedly.) “You, uh… mind giving me a quick rundown of what had you so bent outta shape before?”

For the briefest moment, his eyebrows ever so slightly furrowed together. “There’s… a lot. I’ve had a lot of shit on my mind since all this started. Sometimes it’s just too much to think about.”

“Why don’t you- I mean. Uhmmm. Ever tried _not_ thinking about it?”

“... No?”

Okay. Okay. Choosing his words more carefully _does_ seem to work. Now to… keep not making this weird, he hopes. “Well… don’t- don’t tell future you I said this, but your worrying’s kinda the main thing that always keeps us makin’ progress, so… you’re gonna have to think about it again after this shit wears off, sorry. But, uh…” He turned his head to the side, only a _little_ surprised to find Gordon already staring at him. “Go ahead. Stop thinking ‘bout all that stuff.”

As he let the thoughts in question go, something rippled through him, making him feel from his jaw all the way out to every edge of himself a depth of relaxation that, if he’d ever felt it before at all, had to have been _far_ too long ago. “... Mhm.”

“How’s, uh… How’s that feel?”

“Feels pretty nice, actually. Like…” Like he’d just aged backwards. Like he could float away at any second like some forgotten balloon and he wouldn’t even care. Like if he closed his eyes, when he opened them again, this whole fucked up world would’ve turned out to have just been a bad dream. “I dunno. Brain’s off. But it’s good.”

Benrey was still _really_ not sure how to feel. “Is that. Y’know, what you’d say if you weren’t… like this?”

“Oh, _absolutely._ ”

All he could muster was a nod. “Cool… cool.” While he thought of what to do next, the floor started to seem pretty interesting. “Am I, uh… allowed to hug you?”

“You’re allowed to do whatever you want, man.”

Benrey smacked the heel of his palm against his forehead. “No- no, I mean- like, if normal you found out, you think he’d be mad?”

Gordon shook his head, his whole body swaying along with the motion. “Not… not with what you’re doin’, no.”

“... Alright, uh…” Scooting himself around a bit, Benrey pulled him close, his heart hammering when Gordon returned the gesture, collapsing into the hug. Gently patting the back of his head earned him a content sigh. He carefully undid Gordon’s ponytail, hair tie joining several more hidden just under his sleeve. As he ran a hand through his hair, he struggled to keep in a burst of pink sweet voice at the way he nuzzled into his shoulder. “Is- how’s this feel?”

“‘s good.”

“Wouldja usually say that?”

“... Not out _loud,_ but- please don’t stop.”

His fingers faltered, caught on a rough knot of hair. “... Whuh?”

“Lotta things I wouldn’t say out loud.”

“I- okay, cool, let’s- let’s not get into whatever that means rn.”

“Alright.”

He brushed Gordon’s hair a while longer, feeling like any wrong move could cross boundary after boundary, but still wanting to let him savor whatever good this did him. After a while, a little bit after his hair was finally tangle-free, he went for gently holding the back of his head instead. “Okay, status. Gimme your stats.”

“I’ve literally never felt this good before in my life.”

“... Yeah?”

He turned his head against his shoulder to almost be able to look at Benrey’s face. “Mhm.”

“Uhhh…” He nudged Gordon’s head around to not be in such an awkward position. “Do you, like…”

“I do like.”

“Uh- cool, _not_ what I was gonna say, kinda rude.”

“Sorry.”

“S’cool, man.” Hands on his shoulders, he moved Gordon upright. “Tell me what else you need right now, please?”

“... Sleep? Yeah… yeah, sleep would be good.”

Benrey nodded. “Sweet.”

* * *

Mind pleasantly foggy, Gordon blinked his eyes open to the rest of the science team standing over him, as usual. “Mornin’, guys.”

“Hello, Gordon!”

“Yeah, hey. How’s-” He squinted as his brain finally woke up enough for basic math. “Wait. Where’s Benrey?”

“Sup.”

A string of nonsense noise coming out his mouth, he scrambled away and saw the comforts his brain didn’t even think to _notice_ before were, in fact, Benrey. With one bent arm acting as a pillow. And the other wrapped around Gordon’s waist moments ago. _Spooning him._ “Je _sus-_ ”

“You sleep good, man?”

“I-” When his mind caught up with him, he stopped. “... Actually? Yeah. I did.”

Benrey started nonchalantly picking his nose. “Sick.”

“What the _fuck_ did-”

He stuck his free hand out, wrist on display. “Hair tie?”

Gordon froze, clapping a hand on the back of his neck to find his hair flowing loose (and remarkably _not_ unkempt- very kempt hair). “... Thanks,” he muttered before taking a strangely familiar looking one.

“No problem.”

Coomer leaned around to better look at Gordon. “This is all very tender, Gordon, but we should probably get a move on.”

“Yeah, this feels kinda weird,” Bubby added.

With his ponytail back in, Gordon stretched, but found his whole body weirdly… _not_ in need of stretches. “Yeah- yeah, you guys go on ahead. I think me and Benrey might need a second.”

“If we come back for you two and you’re making out, I’m _going_ to lose my marbles.”

“We won’t.”

“... Are you sure?”

“I’m- dude. _Bubby._ ”

Hands up, he started backing out of the room. “Alright, if you say so…”

As all the rest of them shuffled out, Tommy shot a silent thumbs up at Benrey. When their footsteps started getting further away, Gordon turned to face Benrey fully. “So.”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I- I’ve got no idea what the _fuck_ you did last night, but-”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, bro.”

“ _Shut up,_ let me finish- _But,_ it… it kinda feels like somebody ran a defrag on my brain or something. And it’s pretty nice. So- yeah. Yeah, just this once, I _am_ gonna not worry about it.”

Benrey’s lips moved halfway towards a smile. “That’s cool.”

“If I find out you did anything freaky, though, I _will_ hurt you.”

“‘s fine. Didn’t do nothin’.”

“... Okay. Just… just gonna take your word for it.” He stood up with a grunt. “We should probably go catch up with the others. I don’t want ‘em _actually_ thinking we started making out or something.”

“Why not?”

“You know exactly why.”

“No I don’t.”

“ _Yes,_ you do.”

“Nuh- _uh._ ”

He threw his hands in the air as he turned towards the door. “Alright, I’m leaving now. Follow or don’t.”

“Feel like you already know which one I’m gonna be doing.”

He’s right- Gordon doesn’t even need to turn around to know Benrey’s stood up and trailing behind him. But he can’t seem to bring himself to be annoyed this time. “Course. Course you would.”

“Betcha wouldn’t have it any other way, huh?”

“Not even justifying that with a response.”

“That- that’s sorta a response, dude.”

“... Please be quiet.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe sorta really have an idea for a sequel to this. lord help me do i really wanna go through how awkward it feels to post this a second time
> 
> also- not my first time writing the rest of the science team but you may have noticed it's my first POSTED time so... i mean... i know this probably isn't the best glimpse at it but if you got any feedback on how i characterize the not frenrey i'd LOVE to hear it please god i'm flying by the seat of my ass here
> 
> maybe the real reason the quality feels off to me is because i couldn't find a way to reference twewy this time :thinking:


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> great news everybody: it's time to construct intricate rituals to touch the skin of other men
> 
> i started this the morning after i posted the first part and i did NOT expect to get it done so fast....................... but well. heh

A _lot_ happened between then and the end. And a lot happened between the end and now, too. Not to get meta, but if you’re here, you can probably fill in at least one of those gaps yourself.

What’s more important tonight is Gordon, staring up at his ceiling, exhausted but restless. What’s more important is him groaning to himself for the umpteenth time as his body’s pleas for sleep are once again drowned out by fear from the past, fear for the future, and pain in the present.

His left arm fumbled around the nightstand for his phone, finally getting good at unplugging the charger one-handed. Sitting up a little, he squinted at his contacts list. He’s still not sure how Benrey’s number got there- and the answer he gets changes every time, no matter _who_ he asks- but tonight, he’s not feeling up to looking a gift guard in the mouth. So, he just sighs and presses _call._

He picks up before even _one_ ring is over. “Bro, you callin’ people without warning now? Thought you were better than that.”

“I can _not_ deal with the way you type right now, man.”

“... Alright. That’s fine.”

“Look- Benrey…” Gordon subconsciously tried to rub his temple with the prosthetic he wasn’t wearing. “You… you remember that night where… you did some shit to me, and I woke up _way_ more chill than usual? And- and getting spooned by you for some reason?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, uh… I don’t. I don’t remember pretty much anything that happened that night. You mind telling me?”

“Oh, uh… sure. Yeah. That- that’s cool. I can do that.”

“... Are you _embarrassed_ right now?”

“What? No, dude, _you’re_ embarrassed.”

“Why would-?”

“Anyways, so- you were super stressed out, so, I tried giving you that good ol’ blue, right?”

“Right. Yeah. As one _usually_ does in that situation.”

“Uh-huh. Except I uh… kinda slipped up and did green. You remember what the green voice does, right?”

“... Vaguely?”

“Yeah, so, I couldn’t fix that, so I just tried to calm you down that way, and then I told you to sleep good, and we cuddled the whole time and you _promised_ you wouldn’t get mad about that part, and-”

“Wha- _Benrey,_ ” Gordon cut him off. “Is- is it seriously _that_ simple?”

“Uh… pretty much, yeah.”

“So… I’m _not_ gonna get wrapped up in some fucked up shit if I ask you to come do it again?”

“... Huh?”

He took a deep breath. “I… my brain’s kinda on fire tonight, man. And I’m just- _really_ tired. So, I mean…”

In the following silence, he could practically hear Benrey fidgeting around with random objects on the other end. “Are… are you _sure_ you want that? I mean, I think I pulled it off pretty well last time, but uh… Don’t wanna accidentally make you do something you’d be uncomfortable with.”

If there wasn’t so much weighing on him right then, maybe he would’ve noticed that just that little bit of concern and sincerity made his heart do something questionable. “That- that’s fine, Benrey. I trust you.”

“‘nd you were saying shit about how if I didn’t make you do things for me your brain would break or somethin’.”

“... Okay, that’s _extremely_ troubling, yeah, but- I kinda doubt it could be much worse than what my brain’s already doing.”

“... Wait, you still want me to do it?”

“Jesus christ, Benrey, _yes._ Please. I need a fuckin’ break here.”

“Cool, cool. I’ll just, uh… noclip over there.”

He got out of bed with a sigh. “Of course you are.” While he’d expected to have to look around the house a bit, when he glanced over, Gordon found him jutting out of the doorframe. He hung up as he approached. “Hey.”

“Sup.”

“... So… uh…”

“You look like ass.”

A tired sigh heaved out of him. “Yeah, I _feel_ like it, too. What’re you gonna do about it?”

“Gonna ask if there’s anything you wanna do tonight before I take your brain to orb town.” Benrey plucked at some lint on the hem of his hoodie. “You’re, uh-”

“Please just do it already.”

“Okay, fine, needy lil bitch. Open up.”

Gordon rolled his eyes, but he obliged, making way for… what flavor even _is_ this? Right as he’s about to try and puzzle that out beyond “tingly”, a lot of his mind’s functionality is yanked from him. Not enough to take away the pain, but enough that he’s focused more on _Benrey_ than anything else. He blinks while it sets in, everything almost seeming blurrier than usual except for the guy in front of him. “... Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed his palms together. “You, uh… you know the drill. No- no bad. No more bad thoughts tonight, mkay?”

_There_ it goes. Just like that, everything gets shook out, leaving his thoughts pleasantly blank. He sighs as everything finally goes quiet. “... Mkay.”

“Is, uh… good? Brain good?”

“Benrey.” Gordon lightly smacked at his face. “You have _no_ idea how good brain.”

“Uh, yeah, well, why don’tcha tell me about it, then, huh?”

When he leaned into the feeling to nail down _some_ description, he found it becoming nicer and nicer, wrapping relaxation around him. He felt like he was made of putty. He felt like he was floating on the gentle waves of some undiscovered lake in the middle of nowhere, only his own steady breathing to keep him company. He felt like the whole world was just this little room. He felt so much, and yet, more importantly, nothing at all. And when he opened his mouth to articulate this, all that came out was “ _Aaaaah._ ”

“... Alright, sweet.” Plucking at more lint, something seemed to dawn on him. “Hey, uh, Gordon.” Benrey gestured at his hoodie. “You think this might fit you?”

Gordon glanced at how far down the baggy article went on Benrey’s legs. “Probably, yeah.”

Biting at the inside of his cheek, he debated something internally. “... Okay, that- that should be fine, right? Yeah.” He pulled it off over his head, obligatory shitty gamer shirt riding up his stomach a little in the process. “Stick your arms up, please?”

He did, inevitably having to lean down for Benrey to be able to put the hoodie on him. After the fabric settled over him, he hummed at the warmth, hugging it closer around himself. “Okay.”

Benrey only stared, eyes and mouth wide, cheeks red. “I- uh- I gotta- … Wait right there for a sec,” he spat out before running out of the room.

And wait he did. Distantly, he heard splashing water, and a _lot_ of singing. He pulled the collar of the hoodie up towards his nose and took a whiff. Whether the smell was good or bad, he couldn’t tell, and he probably wouldn’t have been able to even if he was fully there, either. Noticing Benrey back in the doorway, he dropped it. “Whuh?”

“Wow, uh, smellin’ my gamer stink? Gay?”

“‘m pan.”

“Oh- cool. That’s cool.” Walking over, he gestured with the damp washcloth in his hand. “Noticed you had some shit on your face, so…” He sat on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to him. “Sit down, please, friend?”

Joining him, Gordon sighed when his hand made contact with his face, leaning into it.

“... Dude. Hold still. Gotta clean you.”

“Sorry. Feels good.”

Benrey just stared at him again for a moment, mouth shut tight. Turning his head away, he let out a huge burst of pink light before getting back to work. “You’re way too fuckin’ cute, you know that?”

“Okay.”

“It’s- it’s kinda unfair, actually, I mean… You already got the tired dilf thing going on-”

“I do?”

“And- and then I see you like this, and it’s not normal, I know, _hate_ that, that’s why I kept givin’ you chances to back out, I don’t gotta see this shit, but it’s _adorable,_ and-” Benrey tossed the washcloth on the floor with a huff. “It’s whatever.”

“... Floor?”

“Don’t- don’t worry about that, dude.” Carefully, he poked at Gordon’s hair. “Your hair keeps gettin’ all fucked up, bro. You got a brush laying around?”

“There’s your hands.”

“... Huh?”

From somewhere deep down, his cheeks started warming up. “You can just, uh… use your hands.”

Benrey raised an eyebrow as he tried to read Gordon’s face. “Damn, I figured you were touch starved, but I didn’t think it was _that_ strong. I didn’t even say I was gonna brush it this time.”

“... Oh.”

After a moment, he shook his head. “I’m- I can’t leave you hangin’ like that, man. Turn around.”

“Alright,” he mumbled as he rotated. When fingers ran through his hair, he leaned so far into the touch he essentially fell into Benrey’s lap.

“Ope- okay. Hello.”

“Hi.”

“That’s _super_ sweet, but I can’t give you that good good hair touch like this.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, man, here.” He pushed Gordon back upright before holding his arms out to the sides. “Hug?”

Turning around again, he wrapped his arms around Benrey tight, burying his head in his shoulder in a way that almost felt familiar. “Hug.”

His shoulders stiffened for a second before he sang, hugging back under a pink glow. “Oh my _god,_ I love you so much.” Slowly, he started brushing again. “So, uh… how’s it going?”

“Very good.”

“Nice, nice.” After getting most of the way done with one side, he sighed. “Sorry I keep bringing up my feelings and stuff. Weird and lame, I know.”

“‘s fine. I’m not gonna remember.”

“Yeah, but, you’re still kinda the weirdest person for me to be venting about it to. I got so many friends I _don’t_ have raging crushes on.”

What little thought power he had finally gave up on focusing on anything that isn’t a sensation. “Mm.”

“I don’t- I don’t even know for sure if you’re _actually_ gonna forget it, either. Tried to use less sweet voice this time. I mean, I could just tell you to forget, but that’d be fucked up.”

“Mhm.”

“I’m-” He froze as Gordon got more comfortable against him. “Bro, don’t go falling asleep yet, you gotta relish this.”

“I’m relishin’, bro, don’t worry. You’re just really cozy.”

“O-oh.” Dead silent, Benrey nearly finished untangling his hair before clearing his throat. “Does, uhm… Does normal Gordon like… cozy guys?”

“Normal Gordon likes _you._ ”

“I- _whuh?_ ”

“He-”

“Don’t- don’t elaborate on that, dude, I’m gonna die. You’ll kill me. We don’t want that.”

“Okay.”

Benrey did some final touches on Gordon’s hair, something antsy in his movements. “You’re tired or some shit, right?”

“Yeah, a lot.”

“Alright, uh…” Prying himself out of the hug, he stood up. “Go- go lay down however you usually sleep.”

Lacking the brain power to protest the lack of contact, he flopped onto his left side. “There.”

Mulling something over, he crossed his arms. “... Would youuu… be more or less weirded out if you woke up tomorrow and I wasn’t chillin’ here?”

“Uh… more?”

“... Shit, right, yeah, the hoodie an’ stuff.”

“Mhm.”

“Well. Guess we’re doin’ this.” Kicking off his shoes, he crawled back onto the bed, slotting perfectly between Gordon’s arms. “Is this comfy?”

“Totally.”

Benrey sighed before allowing himself to snuggle up. “Alright, dude, go to bed.”

* * *

Gordon was aware of five things. One, he felt incredibly pleasant in just about every way he could think of. That’s good. That’s specifically what he requested. Two, the general rundown he’d gotten the night before of said thing he’d requested. Three, Benrey was nuzzled close to his chest, limbs tangled up. This made sense, given the previous point. Four, he was wearing a hoodie now, which, judging from the smell, was probably Benrey’s. It’s… _very_ unexpected, but also _extremely_ comfortable. No complaints there. And five…

Benrey thinks he’s “way too fuckin’ cute.”

That shouldn’t seem like new information. He’s pretty sure he pieced that together pretty early on. Yet, for some reason, it was one of the first things on his brain’s notes when he finally regained control of it. And, honestly… that knowledge is having _way_ more of an effect on him than he thinks it should. He’s a grown ass man. He shouldn’t be red as a beet over the dude he’s _cuddling_ thinking he’s _cute_ of all things. But, well, here he is. Hoping that if he keeps his eyes shut long enough, Benrey will leave him to ignore it in peace.

After a while, there was a stirring under his stump. “Yo, Gordon. You done pretending to sleep yet?”

Sighing out his nose, he cracked open his eyes. “Good morning to you, too, man.”

He snorted, barely away from his face at all. “Yeah, g’morning.”

“Don’t- don’t blow your morning breath at me.”

“Could say the same to you.”

“Yeah, well-” He hadn’t actually thought any further than that in the sentence. Brain too full of lingering pleasant feelings to think of a comeback, he sighed. “Whatever. I don’t actually care.”

Benrey made a _psh_ noise, but quickly got to just… staring. Carefully, he freed one of his arms and hovered his hand by Gordon’s head. They both froze for what felt like forever. Finally, he slowly ran his fingers through his hair, flowing with a practiced ease.

Gordon let it happen. He felt like he was dying, but he also felt like there’d be no better time _to_ die, so… he let it happen. As much as he felt obligated to protest, it’s… it’s not like this was hurting anything. No harm done in letting the guy you definitely do _not_ feel anything above “acquaintance” towards get a load of how much your face burns at his touch from a mere inch away. There’s nothing wrong with that.

… Oh, he is _fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the shirt benrey is wearing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGuLmr7EQlY
> 
> end notes on chaptered fics fucking BAFFLE me... y'all right tho i do kinda wanna write even more of this dgrnjknh I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEAS THIS TIME THO :pensive:


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *adds new chapter onto something that's already been marked as complete the whole time* AND ANOTHER THING-
> 
> also i did this all today bc i'm just. like this now, apparently,

… He should say something. He shouldn’t just keep melting into every point where he makes contact with Benrey in complete silence. Probably. It’s… it’s weird, right? To just lay here and get lost in every tender touch from a guy he definitely  _ does not _ have feelings for? (Despite how hot his face feels right now?)

Just as his eyes drift open (...  _ when did they close again? _ ) to do exactly that, Benrey stops playing with his hair. Before Gordon can think of how to break the silence, he finds himself with two hands planted on either side of his shoulders, Benrey looming over him. Still watching his face for something he’s not quite sure of, but, judging from the slight change in expression, it seems to be a  _ different _ something.

This is worse,  _ this is worse, _ Gordon’s heart is hammering away in his chest as they both scan each other’s faces for varying reasons, he licks his lips-  _ why the  _ fuck _ would you do that, don’t encourage whatever’s happening here, man, you’ve got emotions to bury _ \- as his still good-foggy brain scrambles for  _ some _ game plan, his still good-foggy brain is  _ not _ coming up with a game plan, shit,  _ shit- _

Benrey makes a noise like he’s still not sure of whatever he’s seeing. Confusingly, he screws one eye shut tight and starts smacking the side of his head. Eventually, something makes a loud  _ click, _ and a bright, concentrated stream of light is shining directly from his open eye right into one of Gordon’s pupils.

“ _ Gah- _ ” Good hand shielding his face, he attempts to smack him away with the other arm. “The hell was  _ that _ for?!”

“Bro, I’m just checkin’ you.”

“For-  _ what, _ your… hypnosis thing?”

“Uh-huh.”

“You could’ve just  _ asked! _ ”

Benrey blinks, light fading away. “... Oh, yeah.”

Gordon flops onto his back with a groan, arms falling to the bed. It takes him a second too long to realize this is an  _ even worse _ position to be in with Benrey still all but pinning him down, eyes going wide as his face flushes anew. “... Uh…”

He  _ definitely _ noticed. Fangs becoming slowly bared, his face breaks into a grin. “What’s up?”

“I… I should probably drink something.” That’s not a stretch- now that he’s experienced all this at a time in his life where there’s  _ not _ a million more major concerns at any given moment (and an honestly kinda weird amount of soda around practically every corner), he realizes that, both times they’ve done this, he’s drooled  _ aggressively _ in his sleep. He hopes that’s all Benrey chalks the gulp that preceded that statement up to.

Shifting down onto his elbows, he gets even closer, something seeming a little more confident (much to Gordon’s annoyance). “Probably, yeah.”

Some part of him wants to throw caution to the wind and kiss that stupid look right off his face. This part is quickly turned down for several reasons. “Are you gonna let me do that or what?”

“Yup,” he says as he unceremoniously rolls off him.

Gordon can’t help but laugh at the suddenness of it before pushing himself up and out of bed. “Wow, thanks.”

Benrey follows not far behind as he heads for the kitchen. “Yeah, don’t mention it.”

Fumbling to not drop a glass as he took it out of the cupboard was certainly an effective wake-up. Releasing his breath, he fills it up, swishing the first sip around a bit in his woefully dry mouth.

Somehow, it doesn’t finish sinking in until then. Until he hears the coffee pot turn on behind him, and turns around to see Benrey climbing onto the counter to sit in front of it as it works its magic. That’s what it takes for Gordon to process that Benrey once again took the reins of his mind for a night, and, yes, this time he’d  _ asked him to. _

And, now that he can clearly see Benrey’s not in the hoodie he’d arrived with, then,  _ yes, _ that definitely  _ is _ what he's wearing right now.

He chugs the rest of his water.

Casually kicking his feet together, Benrey watched Gordon’s face for a bit. “... Got somethin’ on your mind already?”

Worrying at his inner cheek, he sighed. “Did we, uh… Did anything  _ weird _ go down last night?”

“... You, uh, kinda call  _ everything _ I do weird, man. Gonna need you to be a bit more specific.”

“I mean… like…” He buried his face in his hand with a groan. “Fuck, I dunno- did we make out or something?”

Benrey seemed taken aback. “What? No. I’m not gonna do shit like that to you, man, what the fuck. Why are you like this?”

“ _ Look- _ ” Setting down his now empty cup, Gordon waved his hand in a wide arc. “The whole vibe’s been off here since I woke up, alright? I’m just trying to figure out why.”

“Okay, but why’d you jump right to making out, though? Why you thinkin’ about that shit?”

His mind flashed back to Benrey’s jagged smile when he was practically laying on top of him earlier. “... I’m not answering that.”

“Alright, cool.” For a moment, he simply knocked his legs around where they dangled. “What do you mean about the vibes being off? I’m experiencing some pretty average vibes over here.”

He started rubbing at his temple. “Like- you were stroking my hair, and my brain’s been saying you think I’m cute since I got back on speaking terms with the thing, and- I just- it feels like  _ something _ must’ve happened, y’know?”

Benrey hit himself on the forehead with an audible  _ thwack. _ “Yeah- yeah, okay, that second thing’s my fault. I, uh, fucked up some word choice last night.”

“Wait, what?”

He lightly jabbed a finger into Gordon’s chest. “The hair thing, though, that’s cause  _ you _ like that shit. Kept asking me to brush it with my fingies even when  _ I _ was supposed to be the one asking for stuff.”

Face on fire, he sputtered out a fair few nonsense sounds before he could get out any actual words. “You- That doesn’t mean you just go for it when I’m coherent enough to kick your ass! There’s a  _ reason _ why it took me not being able to think for myself first!”

“How come you haven’t kicked my ass, then?” He leaned in close, giving Gordon a good look at how unplaceable his eye color is, seemingly ever shifting. “You scared or some shit?”

In that moment,  _ yeah, _ he kind of was. But he knows that’s not what he was asking. “No.”

“So, what’s the matter, huh?”

He couldn’t handle this conversational train anymore. He had to disembark while he still had  _ some _ integrity. So, he backed up, literally and figuratively. “Look- whatever. We’re not doing this.” He finally reached around Benrey to get at the coffee. “Just gonna ignore all the weird shit that just happened.” Not even giving the mug time to be holdable without pulling his hand a little bit up his sleeve, he went for a sip. “Things are  _ normal _ between us, and I am going to  _ relish _ in that fact.”

“Sure, hell yeah. Like… like normal but better, honestly. Friends, but, uh… with benefits.”

Gordon spat hot coffee out his mouth, only  _ kinda _ wishing some of it hit Benrey. “We are  _ not. _ ”

“Yeah we are, dude. We’re friends, and I let you take your lil brain to the spa whenever. That’s benefits-” He was cut off with a  _ thwap _ to the face. “ _ Owwww. _ ”

He shook his stump at him, hoodie sleeve waving around. “That’s not what that means and you know it!”

“Brooo- bro, I can’t believe you just thwapped me. So  _ mean. _ ”

“You’re lucky I didn’t dump coffee all over you instead.”

“Nahhh, you wouldn’t. You love your good buddy Benny too much.”

Gordon shoved him over without a word, wincing as things knocked around on the counter, but not regretting the decision whatsoever.

“ _ Dude- _ ”

“Hm? What was that?”

Benrey got himself back upright with a grunt. “Can’t fuckin’  _ believe- _ hold on.” He took Gordon’s coffee and gingerly set it on the counter, not even flinching at the searing hot ceramic against his bare fingers.

“Uh… what’re you doing?”

Hopping down, he held his hands up in a claw-like position. “Gotta tickle you.”

“ _ Wh- _ ” He backed up, making sure he was standing on carpet before that threat had the chance to become real. “You  _ really _ don’t!”

“Yeah, I do. Meanies get tickled. New rule.”

“ _ Youuu _ are making shit up.”

“Mmmmyeah, well, y’know…” Rather than come up with more to say, he pounced.

“ _ Ow, _ fuck-” The wind got knocked out of him as he hit the floor. “ _ Jesus! _ ”

“Oh, shit, you okay?”

“Yeah, just- just gimme a minute here.” He sighed, turning into a groan as Benrey politely sat beside him, watching expectantly. “Y’know, a little  _ warning _ would be nice.”

“Alright.” A few seconds later, he set his hands on Gordon’s stomach. “‘m gonna tickle the shit outta you now.”

“ _ D- _ ” Any attempts at speaking were quickly chucked out the window in favor of giggling as fingers scrabbled all over his torso, even spots he never knew were ticklish in the first place making him lose it all the same.

“Coochie coochie coo, dude!” This earned him a kick in the side, which Gordon would blame on the tickling itself if he ever got asked. They both know nobody would believe this for a second.

“How  _ dare _ you talk about coochie at a time like this!” Wheezing for air, he batted Benrey away as best he could (which wasn’t very much). “Okay- okay, Gordon, no more tickle! Decide to not be ticklish!” Just because he’s been told that’s  _ apparently(?) _ how it works _ (???) _ time and time again (is it  _ really, _ though?) doesn’t mean he could pull it off, though.

“Ohhohoh, no, friend, you’re not gettin’ outta the laugh zone  _ that _ easy!” He backed up a little bit when he started getting another face-full of sleeve. “Orrr maybe you are.”

Finally catching his breath, Gordon sat up, gesturing with the loose fabric in question. “See, stuff like  _ this _ is why I usually got my sleeve all tied up when I’m handless.”

“Yeah, I don’t… I don’t know the good tie.”

“Well, you better learn.” Realizing the implications behind what he just said, he looked away. “Uh… just in case.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Not… not saying this is definitely gonna happen again or anything.”

“For sure.”

Still looking anywhere else (because oh you  _ know _ Benrey’s got some kinda look on his face), he blindly patted at his shoulder. “Thank you, though. For real. Not for the tickling. But you’re a lifesaver, seriously.”

“No problem, dude.” They both sat still for a moment. “How’s, uh… how’s your vibes?”

“I…  _ think _ they’re starting to even out.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah.” After a while of simply enjoying the peace, Gordon stumbled to get back up. “ _ Shit, _ my coffee!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been told the way to stop being ticklish is to just fucking decide to. i don't really believe it but i also was told this long after everyone who ever tried to tickle me already left my life (for reasons unrelated to tickling) so idk. seems like it'd still be pretty hard tho


End file.
